This was a race at a newly formed obstacle course in Rolla with Team BOR proving…well, we’ll get to that soon.
The ‘race’ started with 6 events – an obstacle course race, tossing hand grenades into 5 gallon buckets, running with a tennis ball balanced on top a pvc pipe, flipping a massive tire, eating 1000 year old eggs and the like, and answering some logic questions incorrectly. And PT. And more PT. Thankfully, Team BOR LOVES PT. From these events, we got the best prize you could get….not the Gatorade they were talking about, no, a ‘Pardon’.
The racing portion of the race started with everyone else being zip tied into prison, where they had to break out with guards shooting paintballs at them, loud horns going off, fireworks, and the like. While they were going through all that, we took a leisurely stroll up the quarry to the first checkpoint. OK, so it wasn’t leisurely…it was right slow. We basically walked/crawled along the edge of the quarry to keep from being seen by the guards. Used a rope to climb up a massive hill, and then got our first clue partway down a 60’ ladder. Onto Checkpoint 2!! Woo-hoo!!
The racing portion of the race started with everyone else being zip tied into prison, where they had to break out with guards shooting paintballs at them, loud horns going off, fireworks, and the like. While they were going through all that, we took a leisurely stroll up the quarry to the first checkpoint. OK, so it wasn’t leisurely…it was right slow. We basically walked/crawled along the edge of the quarry to keep from being seen by the guards. Used a rope to climb up a massive hill, and then got our first clue partway down a 60’ ladder. Onto Checkpoint 2!! Woo-hoo!!
Along the way we gathered some important stuff for starting a fire, which was the next checkpoint. May have gone a little overboard on this, but between Dirk and Scott and nice fire was made and much kindling was left for others. Scott was having serious troubles seeing with his goggles, so he ran back to the Trailblazer for some different safety glasses, losing his light. Then we headed on the treacherous journey to our next checkpoint….going past the Prison.
This seemed like an easy enough challenge….there was a berm on the west side of the prison…we could hide along the west side of this berm and go un-noticed! HA!! Started as planned, but a guard quickly spotted us and started hunting us down. Here is where Team BOR became the uber-sneaky/crafty team. The entire team would hide in a matter of seconds, many times even from other teammates! After a half hour going 200 meters, we finally reached the woods.
This seemed like an easy enough challenge….there was a berm on the west side of the prison…we could hide along the west side of this berm and go un-noticed! HA!! Started as planned, but a guard quickly spotted us and started hunting us down. Here is where Team BOR became the uber-sneaky/crafty team. The entire team would hide in a matter of seconds, many times even from other teammates! After a half hour going 200 meters, we finally reached the woods.
The woods were a scary time for those of us with tinted ski glasses….or perhaps just me. We were moving without lights typically, and there was no moonlight to help us out. By the way, the ‘race’ started around 7pm. Several shin hits and a big drop later, I said screw moving without lights. The map was also found to be…well, wrong. We found our checkpoints, but in much shorter distances than expected. And again, we found cover at the mere mention of ‘Guard’!!
Since we were basically lost in this portion, we spent some good quality time hiding in the woods, finding random checkpoints, and deciding where to go next. Mind you, the race was ‘designed’ to be done in order. This naturally meant you had to cross the entire complex between each point, and probably at least 200 guards (Dave number) each time. With our massive speed past guards, this would have been a 7 day adventure race. We opted at first to go to the Paintball course, where apparently we would have been given gear (paintball guns) to fight the guards with to retrieve a flag (not our flag), and then run a gauntlet to return with the flag. This didn’t happen because our course kept moving away from it, and guards (and some other inmates) kept us pinned down. As time was already running out, we moved toward the final obstacle – a double rope walk across the water to FREEDOM!!
Since we were basically lost in this portion, we spent some good quality time hiding in the woods, finding random checkpoints, and deciding where to go next. Mind you, the race was ‘designed’ to be done in order. This naturally meant you had to cross the entire complex between each point, and probably at least 200 guards (Dave number) each time. With our massive speed past guards, this would have been a 7 day adventure race. We opted at first to go to the Paintball course, where apparently we would have been given gear (paintball guns) to fight the guards with to retrieve a flag (not our flag), and then run a gauntlet to return with the flag. This didn’t happen because our course kept moving away from it, and guards (and some other inmates) kept us pinned down. As time was already running out, we moved toward the final obstacle – a double rope walk across the water to FREEDOM!!
Overall, I’d like to do this course again. Screw the red lights. Balls Out Racing would all have maximum light power on at all times to run like the wind to all checkpoints, blinding guards with our massive light output!! Yes, we’d probably be caught. Yes, we’d probably get shot. But….we’re Balls Out Racing!!"
-Paul
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